A story about the nyt happiness writer and his visit to the Dali lama and a conversation about selfishness –

My Howard Theory on this is age old. I learned it and have been practicing it forever. It is one of the 3 or 4 base tenets of my life. (My earliest memory, maybe age 9)

If kindness and generosity are selfish or self serving then i am the most selfish person i know. If putting a smile on some ones face, is selfish, than so be it – I’m selfish.

If I pursue that selfless / selfish over and over in any given day, then going out on errands will be akin to a buffett of happiness. How many times can you brighten a day ? Lots.

I’ll bring in Pickleball – as I play PB with a less skilled player, I adjust my play, making sure they have ample shots or chances to engage, play and smile, have a good time …. I lose a lot of games by a point or 2, I do this all the time, and conversely “I win everyone of them, as I lose”. I even do it with better players, they like a challenge, so I make sure they work really hard at some of their points, when they ultimately get their victory, the sweetest words you hear from them “that was a great game, a good challenge, let’s play again” Who is happier, me or them ?

I am a wealthier person and so are they.

My Comment to the NYT world

” One may want to criticize the writer or Buddhism, but it is obvious, (to me at least), that being kind and helpful in small ways across the wide spectrum of “life”, to be a simple good and right thing to do.

It makes me feel good that I have tried, ( a version of selfish), and it does put a smile and a bit of support out into the universe. “

Try it –

1) Selfishly, an act (just one legitimate act), of kindness to family first, then friends or the children of said friends.

2) random acts of kindness. Easy. One could babble on and on about versions, variation, intensity etc , Just do a little good and pass it on, the world and everyone in it is your friend.”