old friends – many things have been written about the power of friendship, I like the topic. So I shall take it on.
They come and they go, sometimes they return again. They must be worked at just a little, but not too hard. If you have to work at them a lot there is an equation that applies.
F = E + E x H (History)
If there is a lot of history, the “E”‘s usually just happens without thought, then the F comes roaring back. When it arrives, it only goes 2 ways.
I like having lot’s of acquaintance’s, you never know who could become a friend, I like that. There are so many phases where friendship couldn’t seem to be stronger and yet it fades. Other times you say, “how could I be friends with that person” yet they are always near, always being kind or helpful or you admire their history.
My closest friends are my oldest partners in crime. They reach back to the neighborhood and town I grew up in. Some are relatives, some are pseudo-relatives. All coming of age experiences. Sibling friendships are the most remarkable because they swing back and forth and are stronger than steel, but can cut like a knife. These people are always reliable for any births, deaths, marriages, moving help etc … They share deeply with happy or sad.
Parents as friends? or kids as friends? I had parents and I have kids … so … well… maybe … not really… but almost, but not quite. I’m going with yes, mostly.
Adult friends are of a different sort, there is history and experience, but not usually longevity, you will also put up with certain quirks in these friends that you would never put up with your oldest friends. As a matter of fact, you would pound, crush or smack the stupid out of an old friend, before you would allow the same actions or words out an adult friend. We give adult friends a pass, we do not know all their history, we try not to judge. (personally judging others is quite enjoyable.)
The other quirk of adult friends is how the spouse gets brought in. Sometimes it matters, other times it doesn’t. The older we get, the less it matters…
What is great about Adult friends that stand the test of time is they morph into “oldest category” before your eyes. I have several of these that now push 30 years, richer for them and quite enjoyable with almost no work.
Business friends can sometimes be tricky, the relationship goes at hyper speed. Maybe something like speed dating. “you voted for who ?” ” You want how many widgets?” .. ” You have a vacation house in Bermuda?” What is great about business friends is simple, there usually is always a win/win component. It is shallow but true. There is also something very freeing about them, you get to try new theories out, good business friends can be quite candid, no fluff, no baggage, no history. Raw truth. And when you get a bad business friend, you just say goodbye. Awesome.
Recently a conversation went like this,
“I do not have many friends” … business, family etc … – my response “how much effort do you put in? ”
“I do not think I should have to work that hard” — my response, “have you heard yourself, have you looked in the mirror” … truth is truth.
Age and experience will set you free.
The best friend you can have is your spouse, for some reason, they stick around for a long, long time, overlook your quirks and all it takes is a smile or a walk or maybe a slap on the .. and all is good. For some it helps to have a second house too, or at least a barn.